{"id":12,"date":"2014-08-23T01:24:36","date_gmt":"2014-08-23T01:24:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/parentequip.info\/?page_id=12"},"modified":"2015-04-29T22:58:50","modified_gmt":"2015-04-29T12:58:50","slug":"values4life","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/?page_id=12","title":{"rendered":"Values4Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>*<span style=\"color: #c00000;\"><strong>To access other content<\/strong><\/span>, allow your mouse to hover over the main TOPICS button, hover over the drop down list you&#8217;re interested in (Values4Life, Practical Parenting, or, Personal Growth) until you see the drop down list, click on the topic of interest to access info. Any problems please contact me at\u00a0<a><span style=\"color: #0070c0; text-decoration: underline;\">www.leigh@surcess.com<\/span><\/a> or 0414 811 183. Enjoy the journey!Laying the foundation for the TWEEN years in the &#8216;in beTWEEN years&#8217;!!! A focus on the TWEEN years; 8-12 y.o.<\/p>\n<h1><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><b><span style=\"font-size: 20pt;\">Targeting the TWEEN years (8-12y.o.)<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/h1>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 16pt;\">Information based on content from the<b> BOOK: <span style=\"color: blue; text-decoration: underline;\">Six Ways to Keep the &#8216;Little&#8217; in your Girl <\/span><\/b>(Dannah Gresh)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>the foundation of building an emotionally healthy teen- one who stands free of the norms of an at-risk peer culture- is built <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">between the ages of 8-12<\/span>, the tween years!!!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>be aware of allowing the culture to speak too loudly while you, the parent remain <b>mute, or too busy<\/b>,\u00a0 planning to deal with these uncomfortable issues &#8216;later&#8217;. In the mean time, your son\/daughter will be pressured to skip being a &#8216;little&#8217; boy\/girl &amp; act like a teenager.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Tweens <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">who are exposed to a basic, age-appropriate, Bible-based value system (partnering with Christian education system) between the ages of 8-12 tend to be less likely to engage in early sexual activity, substance abuse<b>.<\/b><\/span> They&#8217;re also more likely to have <b>healthy friendships, excel academically, &amp; become positive contributors in their communities<\/b>. In light of this information consider t<b>he role of values training during the Primary school years???<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>the effects of <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">advertising &amp; media role models<\/span> play a strong role leading to the emotional trauma associated with <b>childhood obesity, eating disorders &amp; depression in children. <\/b>Consider staking a claim in your daughter so she can grow up to be <b>a strong, whole, pure, healthy teen <\/b>versus the teens who are branded by the advertising world &amp; destined to early sexualization, eating disorders, &amp; depression<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Dannah Gresh states that &#8216;a mum has <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">to start opening up to her 16 year old&#8217;s heart when she&#8217;s 7.<\/span> Statistical footprints show how a young girl will turn out based on what she&#8217;s exposed to &amp; when&#8217;.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><b>STAT: our daughters have only a 50:50 chance of making it to age 16 without experiencing sexual sin, eating disorders, or significant depression.<\/b><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><b>NOTE: <\/b>The same applies to <b>boys<\/b> but the issues are different &amp; are discussed in more detail in the section <b><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Keys for Your Son<\/span><\/b>. It&#8217;s worth noting girls mature faster than boys &amp; so the &#8216;issues&#8217; are often worth targeting sooner than boys!!!<\/p>\n<h1><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><b>3 Stages of moral development<\/b><\/span><\/h1>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><b>1. The Copycat Phase\u00a0 (2-5 y.o)<\/b><\/span><\/h5>\n<p>-introduces your values to your child thru &#8216;consequential&#8217; copying.<\/p>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><b>2. The Counselling Phase (6-11 y.o.)<\/b><\/span><\/h5>\n<p><b><span style=\"color: red;\">-the most critical phase for value formation<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: red;\">&#8211;<strong>the interactive WHY? phase<\/strong>; your child will be measuring WHY you believe what you believe &amp; WHY you do what you do. Your child is beginning to monitor her own conduct based on what she thinks; if it makes sense to her she&#8217;ll do it! In this phase your child is deciding what she believes; she is choosing her values.<\/span><\/p>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><b>3. The Coaching Phase (12 to adult)<\/b><\/span><\/h5>\n<p>-adjusting beliefs; your child will be evaluating &amp; adjusting her already formed value system by living it<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b style=\"color: #008000;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16pt;\">How does connecting form values in your daughter???<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: red; font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><span style=\"color: red;\"><strong>The most critical phase is during the Couselling Phase (6-11y.o) when her values are formed<\/strong>, not when she&#8217;s a teenager!!!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">If you wait til she&#8217;s 12<\/span> <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">to tell her<b> about her PERIOD<\/b><\/span>, you&#8217;ll have missed the beauty of telling her the God created women to create life, &amp; that&#8217;s WHY we value motherhood!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">If you wait until she&#8217;s 13<\/span> t<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">o tell her <b>about MODESTY<\/b><\/span>, you&#8217;ll have missed the beauty of telling her WHY her body is good &amp; beautiful &amp; worthy of protecting!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">If you wait until she&#8217;s 14<\/span> <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">to tell her<\/span> <b><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">about SEX<\/span>, <\/b>you&#8217;ll have missed the beauty of telling her WHY God created marriage to be a one man-one woman picture of His love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: red; font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">l<\/span><span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>It&#8217;s not that you won&#8217;t be able to try to form values after she&#8217;s 13, but that <b>the world will have already issued a strong answer <\/b>to the \u201cwhy&#8217;s\u201d in her heart if you haven&#8217;t met them in the formative years. <b><span style=\"color: red;\">Restructuring her value system is a lot more difficult<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: red;\"> than building it from the ground up!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>It takes a lot of time to <b>answer the \u201cWHY&#8217;s\u201d<\/b>, but it&#8217;s so important to invest the time.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Parents who refuse to take the time to talk often end up on <b>one of two ends of a spectrum<\/b>-either<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><b>creating a legalistic environment<\/b>&#8211; where children never knowing WHY a rule is a rule tend to grow up not internalizing the values of their parents &amp; tend to live however they want when the parent&#8217;s not looking.<\/p>\n<p>OR<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><b>creating an anything-goes environment<\/b>-where parents are their kids buddies &amp; discipline to live out the values you introduce to them is generally lacking.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>It&#8217;s important to be a mum who sets rules &amp; uses her relationship with her daughter <b>to help her understand WHY the rules are what they are<\/b>. This happens between the ages of 8-12, when she&#8217;s actually asking the questions &amp; looking to you for answers!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>The question for now is<b> not &#8216;should I???&#8217;, but rather &#8216;HOW do I???&#8217;<\/b> talk to her about boys, &amp; sex, &amp; periods, &amp; other scary stuff!!!<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><b><span style=\"color: red; text-decoration: underline;\">NOTE<\/span><\/b>: be prepared to apply GRACE at all stages, esp. for the child who doesn&#8217;t readily embrace moral values. There is always grace available for the day at hand. God promises &#8216;His grace is sufficient&#8217; for us; this applies to parenting also!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h1><span style=\"color: navy; font-size: 16pt;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<span style=\"color: #008000;\"> <b>CHOICEZ MEDIA<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h1>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Web address:\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.choicez.com.au\/\"><span style=\"color: #000080;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">www.choicez.com.au<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\"><span style=\"color: #1f497d; font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Jonathan and Karen Doyle. Australian based organisation\u00a0<span style=\"color: #1f497d;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\"><span style=\"color: blue; font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><b><span style=\"color: blue; font-size: 16pt;\">Article from Profile Magazine<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: blue; font-size: 16pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>\u201cFighting back&#8230; The role of the parents.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\"><span style=\"color: #c00000; font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><b><span style=\"color: #c00000;\">Parents play a significant role<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #c00000;\"> in their child\u2019s decision to have sex or not.\u00a0 Parent involvement, supervision, attitudes and the quality of their own relationship are important factors in teens deterring sexual activity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>An important part of Values Based Sex Education (VBSE) <span style=\"color: black;\">is putting<\/span><span style=\"color: #c00000;\"> <b>power back in the hands of the parents<\/b><\/span><b><span style=\"color: red;\">.<\/span><\/b>\u00a0 For too long parents have been at the mercy of departmental or school-based curriculums that have <b><span style=\"color: #c00000;\">not given primacy of place to parents in the sexual education of their own children<\/span><\/b>.\u00a0 VBSE aims to train, equip and empower parents to realise the God-given mandate they have to be <span style=\"color: #c00000;\">the gatekeeper and guardian<\/span> of the messages and training their family receives.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\"><span style=\"color: #c00000; font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Sex education is about much more than just the mechanics and biology of how babies are made.\u00a0 <span style=\"color: #c00000;\">From an early age children <\/span>need to be taught the sacredness of the human body and fertility within the context of marriage and committed love.\u00a0 As they develop, it is <b><span style=\"color: #c00000;\">critical that parents are involved<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #c00000;\"> in their lives and are available to answer questions and provide guidance.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\"><span style=\"color: #c00000; font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>VBSE is rapidly emerging as a powerful way forward for parents, educators and young people.\u00a0 VBSE places a central emphasis on the incredible value and dignity of each human person and the gift of sexuality.\u00a0 VBSE is about <span style=\"color: #c00000;\">developing life skills in children and teens that will assist them navigate the critical years of their development.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\">\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-family: 'times new roman'; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>\u201cYou have the power to do something remarkable and something that our world desperately needs:\u00a0 raise a young person who is capable of loving and being loved.\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\">\n<h4 style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 36pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>\u00a0<span style=\"color: #008000;\"><b>TIPS FOR PARENTS<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 71.45pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Don\u2019t wait to have THE talk.\u00a0 Take advantage of each teachable moment that presents itself and talk about these issues on a regular basis.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 71.45pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Always use age-appropriate information.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 71.45pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Answer questions openly and honestly.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 71.45pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Remember that the greatest lessons in life are the ones we observe.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 71.45pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Discuss your child\u2019s goals and dreams and behaviours that will hinder these.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 71.45pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Talk about your values and why they are important.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 71.45pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Use your own experiences.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 71.45pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Have resources on hand.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 71.45pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Present sexuality within the context of God\u2019s plan and as an incredible gift.<\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 71.45pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: wingdings; font-size: 9pt;\">l<span style=\"font: 7pt\/normal times new roman; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><b>Inform yourself about the sex education that is taking place in your child\u2019s school and do not be afraid to speak up if you are not happy with it.<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>*To access other content, allow your mouse to hover over the main TOPICS button, hover over the drop down list you&#8217;re interested in (Values4Life, Practical Parenting, or, Personal Growth) until you see the drop down list, click on the topic of interest to access info. Any problems please contact me at\u00a0www.leigh@surcess.com or 0414 811 183. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/?page_id=12\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Values4Life<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":110,"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12\/revisions\/110"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}