{"id":170,"date":"2015-07-02T21:18:03","date_gmt":"2015-07-02T11:18:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/parentequip.info\/?page_id=170"},"modified":"2015-10-10T14:56:55","modified_gmt":"2015-10-10T04:56:55","slug":"raising-a-wise-boy","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/?page_id=170","title":{"rendered":"RAISING A WISE BOY"},"content":{"rendered":"

RAISING A WISE BOY (or girl)<\/h1>\n

Information based on content from the BOOK 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son<\/span> (Vicki Courtney)<\/span><\/p>\n

Consider the saying, ‘The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago’. For now, we could already be enjoying its fruit! The second best time to plant a tree is RIGHT NOW, today!<\/p>\n

Most of the teachable moments for our children are most effective if introduced & implemented in the early years<\/b>. In this case looking toward the teen years the ages of 8-12 are the most effective years to step in<\/b> & step it up! The minute your son displays an impulsive desire to pursue something that is not good for him is the moment he is ready to learn some basic & Godly principles of self-control. In addition, it’s an added benefit if information discussed relating to values is on your radar BEFORE\u00a0<\/strong>your son is engaged in the battle<\/b>.<\/span> Purpose to train your son on how to use the powerful weapons available to him as discussed in the Values4Life topics before the battle ever begins. Decide to choose prevention<\/b> over possible crisis management by stepping in earlier than later<\/b><\/span>!<\/p>\n

Training our sons to make wise & Godly choices involves 2 lines of defence:-<\/p>\n

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  1. Addressing the EXTERNAL FACTORS<\/li>\n
  2. Addressing the INTERNAL FACTORS (see topic of A Boys Strength: Self Control<\/b>)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    In considering the EXTERNAL FACTORS<\/b><\/span> that can better equip our sons to make Godly choices we need to look at 3 factors:-<\/p>\n

    1. The PARENT factor<\/span><\/p>\n

    2. The FRIEND factor<\/span><\/p>\n

    3.<\/span>The GOD factor.<\/span><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    1. The PARENT FACTOR<\/b><\/span><\/h1>\n

    Caring, engaged parents typically raise happier & healthier children<\/b>.<\/p>\n

    ‘Teens do better with parents who set limits’<\/b><\/span> (article on USAToday.com)<\/p>\n

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    • teens who have a bedtime<\/b> of 10pm or earlier<\/span>, set by parents, got more sleep, & were less likely to be depressed or consider suicide <\/strong>than those allowed to stay up past midnight.<\/li>\n
    • teen drivers<\/b> whose parents set & enforced rules<\/span> were more likely to wear seat belts & were less likely to<\/strong> speed, be involved in road accidents, drink & drive, or use mobile phones while driving<\/li>\n
    • teens whose parents set rules also smoke less, delay sex, & do better in school<\/b>.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Parenting is hard work & takes dedicated time & energy over a long period of time. It takes time to teach & to train. It takes time to draw up boundaries, to maintain boundaries & to enforce boundaries when they are crossed.<\/b> Decide to invest the necessary time & energy into training your kids. Purpose to do what it takes to train & guide them in the Way they should go! The path of greater resistance is the one worth pursuing<\/span>….the path that leads to Life …the path that takes greater effort, greater time, greater resilience, greater resolve, greater communication,…..<\/p>\n

      Even if you are already an engaged & attentive parent, you must still contend with parents of your child’s friends <\/b>who are not.<\/p>\n

      The truth is we can’t protect our sons 24\/7 from making foolish choices, BUT we CAN set boundaries & rules to make it more difficult for them to make foolish choices<\/span>. (Although I, Leigh, think a higher goal is training our kids at a young age to become self-directed & to be able to become healthy gate-keepers of their own heart<\/b>s, & why it’s so important. See the topic Growing Self-Directed Kids<\/b>. The Heart of the Matter Sessions<\/b> also assist in engaging our son’s hearts & helping them to think about choices before they are in the middle of the serious ones to come).<\/p>\n

      Another avenue we have as a parent is to limit their exposure<\/b><\/span> to situations where other parents are contributing to the pursuit of foolishness by failing to supervise <\/span>the kids in their care. There is great value in helping your son find friends who have like-minded parents<\/b>.<\/span> Although the cross over will always occur & you’ll need to establish a protective balance<\/b><\/span> to be most effective in your parenting influence. (Personally, I, Leigh, prefer the tact of involving & including my children’s peers in Values Sessions such as The Heart of the Matter Sessions<\/b> or ‘Boyz Chat’ Sessions<\/b> where each child investigates their own heart response to the ‘growing-up issues’ within the context of their peers, & alongside their parents as they are also informed & empowered!!!)<\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n

      \u00a02. The FRIEND FACTOR<\/b><\/span><\/h1>\n

      Proverbs suggests a word of wisdom & guidance, ‘He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm’.<\/span> (Prov 13:20)<\/span><\/p>\n

      The type of friends your son chooses or gravitates toward can speak volumes about his developing identity. It’s undetermined whether ‘identity determines peer group’ or ‘peer group determines identity’.<\/span> Either way, when your son conforms to a peer group, it can have either positive or negative outcome on his behaviour. <\/span><\/p>\n

      Helping your son make a distinction between weekday & weekend friends<\/b> in choosing a positive peer group can be a helpful measure. <\/span><\/p>\n