{"id":42,"date":"2015-04-29T21:05:58","date_gmt":"2015-04-29T11:05:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/parentequip.info\/?page_id=42"},"modified":"2015-04-29T22:04:17","modified_gmt":"2015-04-29T12:04:17","slug":"targeting-the-tween-years","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/?page_id=42","title":{"rendered":"Targeting the Tween Years"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><b>Targeting the TWEEN years (8-12y.o.)<\/b><\/span><\/h1>\n<p><span class=\"titlehead\"><b><span style=\"color: #403152;\">Why Waiting until the TEEN years to step in can be too late!<\/span><\/b><\/span><b><\/b><b> <\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Information based on content from the<b> BOOK: <\/b><\/span><b><span style=\"color: blue;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Six Ways to Keep the &#8216;Little&#8217; in your Girl<\/span> <\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">(Dannah Gresh)<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">the foundation of building an emotionally healthy teen- one who stands free of the norms of an at-risk peer culture- is built <b>between the ages of 8-12<\/b>, the tween years!!!<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">be aware of allowing the culture to speak too loudly while you, the parent remain <b>mute, or too busy<\/b>, planning to deal with these uncomfortable issues &#8216;later&#8217;. In the mean time, your son\/daughter will be pressured to skip being a &#8216;little&#8217; boy\/girl &amp; act like a teenager.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Tweens <b>who are exposed to a basic, age-appropriate, Bible-based value system (<\/b><\/span><b><span style=\"color: #7030a0;\">partnering with Christian education system<\/span><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">) between the ages of 8-12 tend to be less likely to engage in early sexual activity, substance abuse.<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\"> They&#8217;re also more likely to have <b>healthy friendships, excel academically, &amp; become positive contributors in their communities<\/b>. In light of this information consider t<b>he role of values training during the Primary school years???<\/b><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">the effects of <b>advertising &amp; media role models<\/b> play a strong role leading to the emotional trauma associated with <b>childhood obesity, eating disorders &amp; depression in children. <\/b>Consider staking a claim in your daughter so she can grow up to be <b>a strong, whole, pure, healthy teen <\/b>versus the teens who are branded by the advertising world &amp; destined to early sexualization, eating disorders, &amp; depression<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Dannah Gresh states that &#8216;a mum has <b>to start opening up to her 16 year old&#8217;s heart when she&#8217;s 7<\/b>. Statistical footprints show how a young girl will turn out based on what she&#8217;s exposed to &amp; when&#8217;.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">STAT: our daughters have only a 50:50 chance of making it to age 16 without experiencing sexual sin, eating disorders, or significant depression.<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">NOTE: <\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">The same applies to <b>boys<\/b> but the issues are different &amp; are discussed in more detail in the section <b>Keys for Your Son<\/b>. It&#8217;s worth noting girls mature faster than boys &amp; so the &#8216;issues&#8217; are often worth targeting sooner than boys!!!<\/span><\/p>\n<h1><span style=\"color: #008000;\">3 Stages of moral development<\/span><\/h1>\n<pre><strong>1. The Copycat Phase (2-5 y.o)<\/strong> Introduces your values to your child thru 'consequential' copying.\r\n\r\n<strong>2. The Counselling Phase (6-11 y.o.) <\/strong><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">The most critical phase for value formation <\/span>\r\n\r\n <\/strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">During this interactive WHY phase your child will be measuring WHY you believe what you believe &amp; WHY you do what you do. Your child is beginning to monitor her own conduct based on what she thinks; if it makes sense to her she'll do it! In this phase your child is deciding what she believes; she is choosing her values<strong>.<\/strong> <\/span>\r\n\r\n<strong>3. The Coaching Phase (12 to adult)<\/strong> Adjusting beliefs; your child will be evaluating &amp; adjusting her already formed value system by living it out.<\/pre>\n<h1><span style=\"color: #008000;\">How does connecting form values in your daughter???<\/span><\/h1>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">The m<\/span><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">ost critical phase is during the Couselling Ph<\/span>ase (6-11y.o) when her values are formed, not when she&#8217;s a teenager!<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6><span style=\"color: #800000;\">If you wait til she&#8217;s 12 to tell her<b style=\"color: #0070c0;\"> about her PERIOD<\/b>, you&#8217;ll have missed the beauty of telling her the God created women to create life, &amp; that&#8217;s WHY we value motherhood!<\/span><\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6><span style=\"color: #800000;\">If you wait until she&#8217;s 13 to tell her <b style=\"color: #0070c0;\">about MODESTY<\/b>, you&#8217;ll have missed the beauty of telling her WHY her body is good &amp; beautiful &amp; worthy of protecting!<\/span><\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h6><span style=\"color: #800000;\">If you wait until she&#8217;s 14 to tell her <b style=\"color: #0070c0;\">about SEX, <\/b>you&#8217;ll have missed the beauty of telling her WHY God created marriage to be a one man-one woman picture of His love for us!<\/span><\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">It&#8217;s not that you won&#8217;t be able to try to form values after she&#8217;s 13, but that <b>the world will have already issued a strong answer <\/b>to the \u201cwhy&#8217;s\u201d in her heart if you haven&#8217;t met them in the formative years. <\/span><b><span style=\"color: red;\">Restructuring her value system is a lot more difficult<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: red;\"> than building it from the ground up!<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">It takes a lot of time to <\/span><b style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">answer the \u201cWHY&#8217;s\u201d<\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">, but it&#8217;s so important to invest the time.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Parents who refuse to take the time to talk often end up on <\/span><b style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">one of two ends of a spectrum<\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">-either<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">creating a legalistic environment<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">&#8211; where children never knowing WHY a rule is a rule tend to grow up not internalizing the values of their parents &amp; tend to live however they want when the parent&#8217;s not looking. OR<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">creating an anything-goes environment<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">-where parents are their kids buddies &amp; discipline to live out the values you introduce to them is generally lacking.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">It&#8217;s important to be a mum who sets rules &amp; uses her relationship with her daughter <\/span><b style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">to help her understand WHY the rules are what they are<\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">. This happens between the ages of 8-12, when she&#8217;s actually asking the questions &amp; looking to you for answers!<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">The question for now is<\/span><b style=\"color: #2e3d47;\"> not &#8216;should I???&#8217;, but rather &#8216;HOW do I???&#8217;<\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\"> talk to her about boys, &amp; sex, &amp; periods, &amp; other scary stuff!!!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h1><span style=\"color: #008000;\">\u00a0Information from <b>CHOICEZ MEDIA<\/b><\/span><\/h1>\n<p><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Web address: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.choicez.com.au\/\"><span style=\"color: #3e81b5;\">www.choicez.com.au<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Jonathan and Karen Doyle. Australian based organisation <\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span style=\"color: #1f497d;\">Article from Profile Magazine<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">\u201c<\/span><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Fighting back&#8230; The role of the parents.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span style=\"color: #c00000;\">Parents play a significant role<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #c00000;\"> in their child\u2019s decision to have sex or not. Parent involvement, supervision, attitudes and the quality of their own relationship are important factors in teens deterring sexual activity.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">An important part of Values Based Sex Education (VBSE) <\/span>is putting <b><span style=\"color: #c00000;\">power back in the hands of the parents<\/span><span style=\"color: red;\">.<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\"> For too long parents have been at the mercy of departmental or school-based curriculums that have <\/span><b><span style=\"color: #c00000;\">not given primacy of place to parents in the sexual education of their own children<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">. VBSE aims to train, equip and empower parents to realise the God-given mandate they have to be <\/span><span style=\"color: #c00000;\">the gatekeeper and guardian<\/span><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\"> of the messages and training their family receives.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Sex education is about much more than just the mechanics and biology of how babies are made. <\/span><span style=\"color: #c00000;\">From an early age children <\/span><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">need to be taught the sacredness of the human body and fertility within the context of marriage and committed love. As they develop, it is <\/span><b><span style=\"color: #c00000;\">critical that parents are involved<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #c00000;\"> in their lives and are available to answer questions and provide guidance.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">VBSE is rapidly emerging as a powerful way forward for parents, educators and young people. VBSE places a central emphasis on the incredible value and dignity of each human person and the gift of sexuality. VBSE is about <\/span><span style=\"color: #c00000;\">developing life skills in children and teens that will assist them navigate the critical years of their development.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #7030a0;\">\u201c<\/span><span style=\"color: #7030a0;\">You have the power to do something remarkable and something that our world desperately needs: raise a young person who is capable of loving and being loved.\u201d \u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span style=\"color: #0070c0;\">TIPS FOR PARENTS<\/span><\/b><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Don\u2019t wait to have THE talk. Take advantage of each teachable moment that presents itself and talk about these issues on a regular basis.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Always use age-appropriate information.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Answer questions openly and honestly.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Remember that the greatest lessons in life are the ones we observe.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Discuss your child\u2019s goals and dreams and behaviours that will hinder these.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Talk about your values and why they are important.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Use your own experiences.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Have resources on hand.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Present sexuality within the context of God\u2019s plan and as an incredible gift.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">Inform yourself about the sex education that is taking place in your child\u2019s school and do not be afraid to speak up if you are not happy with it.<\/span><\/b><\/li>\n<li><b><span style=\"color: red;\">NOTE<\/span><\/b><span style=\"color: #2e3d47;\">: be prepared to apply GRACE at all stages, esp. for the child who doesn&#8217;t readily embrace moral values. There is always grace available for the day at hand. God promises &#8216;His grace is sufficient&#8217; for us; this applies to parenting also!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Targeting the TWEEN years (8-12y.o.) Why Waiting until the TEEN years to step in can be too late! Information based on content from the BOOK: Six Ways to Keep the &#8216;Little&#8217; in your Girl (Dannah Gresh) the foundation of building an emotionally healthy teen- one who stands free of the norms of an at-risk peer &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/?page_id=42\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Targeting the Tween Years<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":12,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/42"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=42"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/42\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":77,"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/42\/revisions\/77"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentequip.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=42"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}