ATTITUDE TRAINING
The attitude of your children is far more important than their actions or education. When a child has an innocent heart, clumsiness or misjudgement can easily be accepted as perfection.
Training must certainly consider the actions of a child, but DISCIPLINE should be concerned with the child’s attitude. It is embarrassing to see a parent upset at a child for spilling milk or acting his normal, clumsy self. Judge your child as God judges them-by the heart.
However, there are times when there is no disobedience, but the attitude is completely rotten. A parent must be on guard to discern attitudes. If we wait until actions become annoying before initiating discipline, we are only dealing with the surface symptoms. The root of all sin can be found in the heart. Know your child’s heart & guard it. ‘Keep your heart with all diligence: for out of it are the issues of life’ (Proverbs 4:23). It will be several years before your child can keep his own heart; until then, it is entrusted to you.
BAD ATTITUDE
As a child ‘thinks in his heart, so he is’. (Proverbs 23:7). If a child shows the least bit of displeasure in response to a command or duty, you should treat it as DISOBEDIENCE, & possible rebellion. If a child sticks out his lip, you should focus your training on his bad attitude. A wrong slant of the shoulders can reveal a bad frame of mind. Consider this a sign to instruct, train, or discipline. A cheerful, compliant spirit is the norm. Anything else can be considered a sign of trouble.
If your family has always been out of control, to even consider training your children in this manner may seem overbearing & unrealistic. Granted, if some families simply started demanding this level of obedience, they would indeed be overbearing. But, when approached as a revamping of the entire family, it no longer appears unreasonable. Sulking , pouting, whining, complaining, begging, & the like, should ALL be targeted seriously & eradicated like a bad disease.
Like any well-cared-for garden, weeds will come up that must be dealt with, but they should never be given a chance to seed & spread. Problems will arise, but the training base described above provides the certainty of a thriving garden of happy, satisfied children, & parents! The key lies in catching the weeds before they spread!
Content from the BOOK: To Train Up a Child (M & D Pearl)
PUBLISHER’S NOTES
Three thousand years ago, a wise man said, “Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”Good training is not crisis management; it is what you do before the need of discipline arises.
Most parenting is accidental rather than deliberate. Imagine building a house that way. We don’t need to reinvent training. There are child training principles and methods that have worked from antiquity. To neglect deliberate training is to shove your child into a sea of choices and passions without a boat or compass.
This book is not about discipline, nor problem children. The emphasis is on the training of a child before the need to discipline arises. It is apparent that, though they expect obedience, most parents never attempt to train their child to obey. They wait until the behavior becomes unbearable and then explode. With proper training, discipline can be reduced to 5% of what many now practice. As you come to understand the difference between training and discipline, you will have a renewed vision for your family, no more raised voices, no contention, no bad attitudes, fewer spankings, a cheerful atmosphere in the home and total obedience from your children.
