Sex Education Through the Years
(Tips from the Mayo Clinic)
*Content based on information from the BOOKS: 5 Conversations you must have with your Son/Daughter (Vicki Courtney)
AGE 18 months-3 Years
- children will begin to learn about their own bodies.
- teach your child the proper names for sex organs. Otherwise, they may get the idea that something is wrong with these parts. Rest assured many of us use ‘nicknames’; just ensure your kids are aware of the correct anatomical names also.
- NOTE: Paedophiles will usually use ‘pet names’ for body parts
AGE 3-4 Years
- take advantage of everyday opportunities to discuss sex & associated issues.
- Example. A pregnancy in the family is a great learning tool for highlighting God’s design for our bodies & creation. Explain to your children that God creates babies to grow in a special place inside the mother. Or use animals as examples. Pet guinea pigs & their babies for example. Or visit a farm.
- Consider the following examples:
- How do babies get inside mummy’s tummy? You might say, ‘When a mum & dad are married & love each other they make a baby by holding each other in a special way’.
- How are babies born? For some kids is might be enough to say, ‘When mum’s ready to go the hospital, doctors & nurses help babies who are ready to be born’.
- Where do babies come from? Try to give a simple & direct response such as: ‘Babies grow in a special place inside the mother’. As your child matures, you can add more details.
- Teach your child that the parts of the body covered by a bathing suit are private & that no one should be allowed to touch them there without permission from mummy or daddy.
AGE 5-7 Years
- questions about sex will become more complex as your child tries to understand the connection between sexuality & making babies. He or she may turn to friends for some of these answers. Because children can pick up faulty information about sex & reproduction in this way, it may be best to ask what your child knows about a particular topic before you begin your ‘fancy’ explanations.
AGE 8-12 Years
- children between these ages spend a lot of time worrying whether they are ‘normal’ or not.
- in this category children of the same age mature at wildly different rates. What’s right for one may not be appropriate for another. Reassure your child that he is well within the normal range of development for his age range. Remind them often that they are ‘wonderfully made’ by their Creator on purpose, & that God’s timing is perfect for them & their bodies.
- Psalm 139:13-15
- For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Age 13+ Years
- The American Academy of Paediatrics recommends that before they reach puberty, children should have a basic understanding of the following.
- the name & function of male & female sex organs
- what happens during Puberty & what physical changes of Puberty mean-movement into young womanhood or manhood.
- the nature & purpose of the menstrual cycle
- what sexual intercourse is & how females become pregnant
- how to prevent pregnancy
- same-sex relationships
- masturbation
- STD’s & activities that spread sexually transmitted diseases, especially AIDS
- your expectations & values
Discussing Sex Education with Your Children
A helpful guide based on a chart from Rick Johnson’s BOOK: That’s My Son
Preschool
- Don’t punish kids for touching their own genitalia
- Explain what private parts are & what ‘privacy’ means
- Explain sex differences. Especially for kids without siblings or close family members of the opposite sex. Alleviate their curiosity within the safety of the home environment.
Grade School
- Discuss issues of procreation in age-appropriate, general terms. In the context of marriage.
- Discuss menstruation with girls before they enter adolescence.
- Discuss masturbation in general terms at a relatively early age.
Adolescent
- Teach responsibility & self-control.
- Teach that sex is not just intercourse.
- Teach that sexual intimacy has profound consequences.
- Teach that it’s OK to say no to sex until they’re married.
- Teach that sex is not the most important part of a loving relationship.
- Further RECOMMENDED RESOURCE
Things are Changing Puberty DVD’s.
Separate DVD for girls or boys.
An ultra-modern presentation exploring the changes associated with puberty within the context of marriage & family life. A parent friendly puberty resource.